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May 2022<\/i><\/p>\n
As a bereavement counselor, I often get asked, \u201cIs this normal?\u201d The grieving process is both a very individual and a universal experience. Everyone\u2019s experience is as unique as the relationship with the person who passed away, yet some of what we experience is relatable and commonly shared. Instead of focusing on what might be \u201cwrong\u201d with one\u2019s grieving process, let\u2019s look at seven healing milestones identified by Dr. Kathy Shear, one of the world\u2019s leading grief experts. She is the founding Director of the Center for Prolonged Grief at Columbia University. Hopefully, these will help you identify if your healing is underway.<\/span><\/p>\n Understanding and accepting the grief<\/b><\/p>\n It\u2019s essential that a grieving person learn about it and accept that grief is a healthy part of recovery. Allowing grief is necessary to process it. What you resist persists, so let the tears flow. You release the stress hormone cortisol within your tears when you cry, making it a helpful emotional and biological process.<\/p>\n Managing painful emotions<\/b><\/p>\n Experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion during the grieving process is expected. However, in time, individuals should be able to manage the painful feelings to the extent that they are not interfering with a person\u2019s daily functioning. This usually happens within six months to a year. It doesn\u2019t mean the grieving is \u201cdone,\u201d as it is never really \u201cover,\u201d but it\u2019s no longer regularly interfering with daily living.<\/p>\n Planning for a meaningful future<\/b><\/p>\n After a significant loss, individuals may feel stuck in a holding pattern. However, most grief experts urge caution with making major life choices within the first year. Loss can cause a significant reordering of one\u2019s value system and perhaps a reflection on one\u2019s life path. It\u2019s common to start contemplating how to find more fulfillment after sustaining a significant loss, and this might include considerable life changes.<\/p>\n Strengthening ongoing relationships<\/b><\/p>\n It\u2019s vital to double down on our lasting relationships or establish a new support system by seeking pastoral care, counseling, or a support group. Solid and nurturing interpersonal connections are one of the most helpful keys to resiliency in the face of loss.<\/p>\n Telling the story of the death<\/b><\/p>\n You may be avoiding telling the story, but telling it helps weaken the power it can have over you. Please share it with trusted loved ones and a trained therapist. Getting through the death story without becoming emotionally flooded is a telltale sign that the healing process is underway.<\/p>\n Learning to live with the reminders<\/b><\/p>\n At the beginning of the grieving process, it may be tough to see clothes, photos, or hear a meaningful song. Eventually, these reminders should evoke more loving vs. painful remembering. Instead of avoiding them, individuals will begin to cherish reminders.<\/p>\n Establishing an enduring connection with the memories<\/b><\/p>\n Eventually, the griever finds ways to keep their connection with their loved one, and the memories shared alive. How they do this is different for everyone and can happen organically, but it might be worth spending time thinking about how this can look for you. (Shear & Charney, 2021)<\/p>\n If you or a loved one are struggling in your grieving process, we are here to help. Sharon S. Richardson Community Hospice offers individual and group bereavement support. Please call us at 920-467-1800 and ask to speak with a member of our Bereavement Care Team.<\/p>\n Writer: <\/span>Elizabeth DenDekker, MSW, LCSW, Spiritual Care Coordinator<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Sources: Shear, K., & Charney, M. (2021) The Big Picture Workshop: Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy Principles and Procedures. [PowerPoint Slides] May 7, 2021<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n [\/fusion_text][\/fusion_builder_column][\/fusion_builder_row][\/fusion_builder_container]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” parallax_speed=”0.3″ video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” border_style=”solid” type=”legacy”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” spacing=”yes” background_repeat=”no-repeat” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” center_content=”no” last=”true” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":2654,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"video","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-video","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","post_format-post-format-video"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2653","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2653"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2653\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2654"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2653"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2653"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/devsiteomg.com\/ssrc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2653"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}